I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
