school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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