ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
this will be a night to untag.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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