Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
