wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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