she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
