can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
