I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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