At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
