also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
