we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
