tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
