I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
