I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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