did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
