PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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