Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We just shotgunned beers for America
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
