Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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