You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
