i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
