WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Just high enough for therapy.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
