At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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