i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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