grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
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