You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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