She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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