this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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