Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.