you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.