i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Let the clothes fall where they may.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
