I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
