weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
He kissed a someone with a penis
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
