It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
