Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Do vagina's smell?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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