My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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