she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
