Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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