i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
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I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
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alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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