last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to summon your inner elephant
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize