Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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