I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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