I am puke
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
