eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
