Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
