I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
