o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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