I feel like I'm in dance class right now
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
God gave him joint rollers for hands
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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