I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
