I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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