What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
