just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
this is an emotional support booty call
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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