I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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