What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
