Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
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It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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