Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
