I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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