I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
