Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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