And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
