real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
