This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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