I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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