oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
