I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
