Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
