Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
