i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
