at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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